just a little bit heartbroken

Aha!

Well, it's not a shoe, because this one's fallen before, but it's something. Things have been going really well lately - OP and I have been doing great, even Man Who Makes Me Cry In My Own Office and I have been alright. And then I do something stupid - like look at a survey the evangelism task force put out to our congregation a bit ago, about worship, strengths and things we can improve on, that sort of thing.

Well, the guy who's been running the survey had a couple to give to our communication director at the session meeting tonight. I happened to pick them up - I've been curious about what people think about worship (it's been something on my mind). One survey in particular stands out.

Now, just to be clear - the person is possibly male (or doesn't know how to click the little button thingies) and medicare age (their words, though he or she clicked the 5-19 age bracket) and been going here forever. I notice that on things that inspire, enjoy, it's senior pastor's prayers and sermons, senior pastor's spiritual leadership, etc. This person actually has some things about what we might have in worship that I agree on (which I'm sure would be shocking to him or her). This person mentions that the joy of worship, possible all church life, has been gone for the past 2 1/2 years (I've been here 3 as of Friday). This person also mentions in the comments section (along with let's go back to one service and hey, where are the youth) that the associate pastor should find her own church.

Yeah.

I know, I know, this isn't shocking. I was brought on for change and someone who doesn't like change doesn't like me. But still, ouch. And the thing is, I've actually been thinking about my call lately and while I don't feel called to move yet, I know it's coming in the next few years. And stupid comments like this make me want to jump the gun and make it happen now. To look and search just to be affirmed like I was during the call/courtship process.

Now, I won't do that. The communications director who sees me starting to break down (I was in her office) assures me that this is the only one like that. If it were a serious trend, I might listen up, but just one person with a grind to ax and a forum to do it in, I know can't be taken too seriously. Still... ouch.