every girl should have girlfriends

I'm having a great "I love friends" moment.

I'm sitting in Coffee Shop with a good friend (we're both "working). We were talking about my resolution to toss the ex of the previouis post's number (which has been done, by the by). I told her I decided to not intentionally contact him because I can't control what I'll find on the other line of the phone. I want to find a happy person, a well-adjusted person, etc, but what if I don't? What then? Since I don't have answer to those questions, I realized I can't call.

Anyway, I was telling her these things, about how I wish I'd find him happy, and she said "I don't. I want him to regret for the rest of his life what he is missing out on." This sort of feeling isn't one that I can hold onto - not healthy by any means, and actually, very unlike me - but it sure is great to have friends who carry that stuff for you!

Seriously, girlfriends rock.

dreaming

I had an interesting dream last night.

My family owned a movie theater/wine bar (doesn't that sound like fun!) and I was working the bar/ticket booth. One of my customers looked familiar and I realized it was an ex-boyfriend. He was with a very lovely young woman. He and the woman came to get their tickets and wine and we had a great little reunion. I found out that he had just purchased some land by a river and he and the new girlfriend (who was an artist of some sort and very likable) were building a house together. In the dream I was absolutely thrilled for him and in those few seconds when you wake up after a dream and still think it's reality, I was still thrilled.

I mention this dream because it's basically something I really want to happen. This particular ex and I haven't seen each other in several months (since we broke up). When we did break up, he wasn't in the best place in life and while I am no longer in love or anything, I still do care. And I want to know he's alright.

I've been very tempted to find his number and give him a ring. My girlfriends here have said "absolutely not." They don't want him to still think I'm hung up on him nor do they think it's will do me any good.

I want to see/call him not out of any desire to nurture a friendship or anything--just to make sure he's alright. And I guess that's kinda selfish. Why put myself back in his life (even for a brief phone call) just to know he's okay?

Anyway, I've been thinking about this some lately (probably in part because I've recently gotten back in touch with one of my favorite people in the world that I hadn't spoken to in, well, years... and he's great and that makes me so ridiculously happy knowing that). While I have no desire for friendship with this ex, I really do want to know he's alright, that life is treating him well, and that he's treating himself well.

But for now, I'm listening to my girlfriends and I guess I'll just have to hope that my dreams are a little prophetic.

candles are pretty

This is basically what I'm thinking after our Taize service tonight. It seemed to go well - yay. We remembered our baptism AND remembered we are loved and that's always a good thing. Especially as tomorrow I get to meet with my favorite team - the personnel team - that always as such gems to share with me during our annual conversation (previous examples include: "you're wiggle too much; that skirt was too short; don't talk to the liturgist" etc, etc.... Actually, it's usually not all that bad, just annoying. And I'm not really in the mood to be annoyed right now nor have my fragile little preacher ego kicked around. I'd rather just remember that I am loved!

keeping things cool

Thanks to inherited traits I am a slightly more anxious person than Average Jane. Job doesn't help with that and right now, neither does the news. Oy! Reading headlines that say McCain is ahead of Obama makes me very nervous and I start wondering exactly how cold Canada is.

rallying

This morning is Rally Day at church. Woot.

It will be interesting to see how much energy and enthusiasm I can muster for this day when all I can think of is that now with Sunday School back in the picture, I won't be able to duck out for real coffee between services.

laboring day

It's a beautiful day here in Small City, The South. Resting from my labors by watching cars drive by at a local coffee shop (not The Coffee Shop as it is closed today!). This weekend was a perfect - and needed - weekend. A good friend who has moved away came back for a day or so and spending time with her and other friends was very centering. Preaching and feeling really solid about the sermon and the challenging subject matter (and being affirmed in that sense of hitting the mark by many a church goer) was also great and needed.

Confidence currently higher than it has been since last Tuesday and the reading of yet another anoymous comment (the second of the two negative ones from previously mentioned survey).

Got a voice message this afternoon from a church member - "hi, um, I got this number from the bathroom stall of Local Bar. It said, 'For Salvation, call..."

Hee. I love my people sometimes. Okay, most times.

And on a last note, listening to my ipod on shuffle and "silver bells" just came up. Ack - it's just Sept 1 - I still have time before Christmas, right?